Who wants a robot ride?

More proof that we'd better make friends with our robot overlords sooner rather than later.

Like this only hotter

Just approved last week, "the military calls its new weapon an "active denial system," but that's an understatement. It's a ray gun that shoots a beam that makes people feel as if they are about to catch fire.

Apart from causing that terrifying sensation, the technology is supposed to be harmless -- a non-lethal way to get enemies to drop their weapons." woah.

I thought I was a sex machine

Recently Japan's 71-year-old health official spoke in front of the Liberal Democratic Party over the weekend. He had this to say... "The number of women aged between 15 and 50 is fixed," he said. "Because the number of birth-giving machines and devices is fixed, all we can ask for is for them to do their best per head, although it may not be so appropriate to call them machines." hmm...maybe not...but if I am a baby machine is "the device" my boyfriend's wang?

oh to to!

ahh that dry Japanese wit.

...and practice makes perfect.

Even better than the real thing

If SynthCoke is all it takes to pull chicks like that, I'm giving up my uncut Nicaraguan Thunder!

(We also would have accepted "Who were the ad wizards who came up with that one?")

Wilford Brimley has Diabeetis.

The Great Marshall Fine

Everyone follow this link and check out Marshall Fine's Oscar's State of the Union on Huffington Post. Marshall is a film critic, author, filmmaker, mustachioed all-around great guy. Here he writes about how the Oscar nominations are reinforcing Hollywood's hatred of America. Damn you Hollywood!

Marshall's Bio:

Marshall Fine is film/TV critic for Star magazine.

Previously, he was a nationally syndicated film and TV critic and entertainment writer for Gannett News Service.

He is a member and three-time chairman of the New York Film Critics Circle.

His writing has appeared in USA Today, the Los Angeles Times, the New York Daily News, Premiere, Cosmopolitan and Entertainment Weekly.

He conducted the Playboy Interview with both Howard Stern and Tim Robbins.

He is the author of three biographies, including “Bloody Sam: The Life and Films of Sam Peckinpah” (1991) and “Harvey Keitel: The Art of Darkness” (1998). His newest book is “Accidental Genius: How John Cassavetes Invented the American Independent Film,” published by Miramax Books in January 2006.

His short film, “Flo Fox’s Dicthology,” was shown at the Woodstock Film Festival and the International Documentary Festival, Amsterdam, in 2002. He is at work on “Do You Sleep in the Nude?”, a feature-length documentary about film critic Rex Reed.

Yes! Rock!!

Cityrag has compiled a link list to the 20 Greatest Guitar Solos Ever according to Guitar World. Everything you would expect is there with Jimi Hendrix and Jimmy Page dominating the list. Spend some time to get back in touch with your inner guitar-wanking self. This is the stuff dreams are made of.

Public Transport Patterns

Bakerloo Line train. London Underground
Originally uploaded by ludd.

Subways and bus seats always seem so ugles until you look at their fabulous patterns all cropped and placed next to one another, as this flickr photoset proves. They're even better when you keep in mind that these patterns are all designed to camouflage all manner of bodily fluids so you'll naively continue to sit during your commutes. Some of the patterns look like they could conceal an entire hobo.

Bowie Meets Crosby

I'm sorry this is about a month late, but it was recently my birthday, and that means I can do anything I want.

The Artwork of Shery Boyle

Check out the amazing fantasies of Shery Boyle, a Canadian artist. Her porcelain works are my faves.

Presented Without Explanation

Cancer cure found in chicken's bottom

From the makers of Dolly - the adorable sheep cloned some 10 years ago - scientists have developed a new kind of chicken. A chicken that no man has known before. She comes with lasers shooting from her beak and drops eggs with anti-cancer capabilities. When asked for comment the scientists responded, "No problem, fag bag. You like it in the ass - you over glorified parking maid? You smell like rancid dysentery." Touche.

>> More on BBC's coverage of the story
>> More from the scientist themselves

See It Again...For the First Time

My Sopranos Game Tip #2 (the "Leaked" version) is now up on A&E's website (not the Insider, the open site). To watch it follow this link.

Playing god

this is superduper cool.

linerider

KBC Just Got Made

The Sopranos premiered on Wednesday night and so did my CSI:Miami image spot! From Cynopsis.com, a television industry newsletter:

The premiere episode of The Sopranos on A&E drew 4.27 million total viewers on Wednesday night, giving it bragging rights as the most viewed off-network premiere on basic cable, ever. The episode that immediately followed delivered 3.45 million viewers.

That means that 4 million people saw my spot! Wicked. I'll put a copy of it up here soon.

The Tip: episode 1

The first of seven weekly insider tips for The Sopranos A&E Connection Game. Starring John Grady as The Agent and Giovanni Olivera as The ... all » Player. Director of photography: Ed David. Edited by Steve Kammerer. Sound design by Mike Dillenberger. Written and directed by Kyle Barron-Cohen.

Dear Mr. President 2

Maybe you were thinking of secretly sending these guys? Cause that would be cool.

Dear Mr. President

Dear Mr. President:

First, congratulations on another fine holiday video of your dogs. It's truly a joy to see those rascals have fun. Second, I had a question about this whole "Surge" plan for Iraq. I know the 80s come back a few years ago was pretty big and it's only natural that the 90s would follow, but how does the answer to Mt. Dew become the answer to fixing violent clashes of sectarian violence in Iraq? Yes Surge was very refreshing - citrus-y - not heavy, but that's a pretty tall order for any soft drink. Although I'm sure it would be pretty thirst-quenching in the arid landscapes of much of the Middle East, I echo the thoughts of many generals and pentagon analysts - without a specific mission for Surge how can we truly evaluate its effectiveness? Taste tests?

Your Pal,
V

Retro Encabulator

This video was seen circulating the internet, author unknown. The Retro-Encabulator is a fictional device purportedly manufactured by "Rockwell Automation", according to the video. The video has become popular with engineers due to its humurous use of technobabble.

Move Over Dalai Lama!

Dommy138, the poster of this on YouTube, writes:

After Corey fucked himself up on tons of drugs (vicodin, valium, percodin, soma -which was the killer *see Corey Haim sucks in my videos) and was negatively plastered all over magazines he attempted to convince the public he was better by making this video. The purpose of the video was immediately defeated the minute they began taping Haim. Corey was obviously on drugs (probably his favorite combo 10 valium ten mg, 10 vicodin extra strength and 15 somas)and made a complete fool of himself, see for yourself!

Also be sure to see "Corey Haim Sucks" from the same user. Amazing.

Rob Corddry: "Fuck Ben Affleck."

You’ve all heard the parlance. To bomb is to die. To kill is to do well. I bombed and died.

Follow this link right now and read the hilarious and instructional story on Rob Corddry, famed ex-correspondent for the Daily Show, bombing at the GQ Awards. You can feel the awkwardness and almost lung-crushing lack of oxygen in the room as Rob loses on nearly every joke. It's almost like a fable, only the only thing that can really be learned is that Ben Affleck is a douchebag. But what child doesn't already know that?