Stayin' True

What American accent do you have? Your Result: North Central   "North Central" is what professional linguists call the Minnesota accent. If you saw "Fargo" you probably didn't think the characters sounded very out of the ordinary. Outsiders probably mistake you for a Canadian a lot.
The Midland
The West
The Inland North
Boston
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The South
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

whipping shitties

In honor of the 30cm of snow dumped on Minneapolis this weekend, the results of a linguistic survey of the country:
What do you call the activity of driving around in circles in a car?

I Shall Forever Rue This Day

For today is when I found out about the New York Department of Health's online restaurant inspection results. This is something that gives the already food-paranoid (me) a chance to flip out even more regularly. Now, when Katy and I are trying to decide on where to eat we won't be looking for reviews on signature dishes, but rather how many violation points a particular place has earned and whether or not "Harborage or conditions conducive to vermin exist." Lovely. This can be a real eye-opener. Many of the more expensive and chic restaurants in our area are also the biggest violators. Next time I sit down to eat at one of these places, rather than asking about the specials I'll be asking how they did on their last inspection.

If you live in NYC, check out some of your favorites here (click on Restaurant Inspection results online near the top of the page).

P.S. One of the violations is: Food from unapproved or unknown source, spoiled, adulterated, or home canned. This was found at Queens High Pearl Seafood Restaurant. The mind reels.

No THIS is what the internet is made for

i love all people -- especially those with a sense of humor

This is what the internet was made for:

Oh, and the earth is flat.

Academic discourse:
The Earth Is Not Moving


Why do I even know about this website? Is it because I have been known to enjoy other websites featuring the Apollo moon landing conspiracy? No. I spent half an hour mocking the cognitive capacity of the site's creator because a representative from texas introduced the bill in congress. Don't believe me, check out the Times article:
Lawmaker apologizes for memo linking evolution and Jewish texts (registration, first-born child, naming rights required.)

Thanks to my girl Rachel, UMN Law School Class of 2009

Woo-hoo!!

Get on the train.

Happy Valentine's: "Gettin' Some" Now Formally Sanctioned By NYC

We love New York, we love the subway, and we all love sex. Right? Yes, clearly, you say? Stellar, then you'll be happy to know that today, thanks to visionary NYCDOHMH, we can love them all even more. NYC Subway Condoms are here (and here, and here)!

A city that gives you free (not to mention stylish) condoms is a city that loves you, or at least is sweet on you. So accept the offering and spread the love. And if you work anywhere with a reception desk/lobby/waiting room then get your organization on board already. Condom distribution is the public service for with-it workplaces.

--Maren Olson

Ahhhh, self-employment!

If you live in NYC, you know why I'm feeling super-stoked about working from home right now. It's raining ice. Some snow, sure, but mostly tiny, razor-like pieces of ice right now. And I'm inside. Poor, sure, but very warm and dry.

Things are looking up though. Went and saw an accountant last night, a Mr. Richard Prinzi, who is an awesome guy and awesome at using money kung-fu to get me a bunch back from taxes. We talked a little bit about my new business venture and he used a calculator to show me that I'm going to need to start filing quarterly. Yikes.

I'm not a fan of anything money-related. Well, money itself is nice, but the management and care of it reminds of the time in my life that I had a ferret. It smelled and never wanted to be in its cage and was always stealing things and hiding them in the walls. Just like money. Also it bit people and looked like a giant rat. Again, like money. So it's an associative thing.

Kitchen diaries

and holy shit.

They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To

Ladies and ladies: the one and only Telly Savalas. Staring a cadre of certainly drugged and threatened women, and seen through the eyes of a dying man (most likely beaten by Telly himself).

You get the feeling that you're watching hour 9 of a 37 hour-long event. Simply amazing.

Erykah Badu: How to be a Popstar in 2006

for serious!

BTW

My site for Frontwards Productions is live. Check it out.

Valentine's Day is around the corner...

This year, promiser her anything, but make sure you look good doing it. Click here to take in an amazing collection of outstanding hair. From a 1970s Ebony advert.

Phase Two

Hey all. It's been an interesting week. Last Friday was my official Last Day® at A&E as a freelance production assistant. It was celebrated with almost non-stop drinking from about 5:30pm till sometime around 2:30am (though this is, of course, hazy. I could easily have traveled back in time considering the amount of gin I drank.) It was wicked fun. Some peeps from work, some peeps from home, and Katy all helped me celebrate my emancipation from the daily routine of assured pay. So now I am officially a Freelance Producer™. My new production company Frontwards Productions is active and ready for work. I'm waiting for some forms to go through over at A&E allowing me to do freelance work for them, and I'm also pursuing some job leads at other networks. It's all very exciting/terrifying. The exciting thing was creating a logo and business cards and a website. The terrifying thing is not knowing how much work I'll be getting and how how often. But I remain confidant. Everyone at A&E is cheering me on, and lots of them have given me names and numbers of folks around town who may be looking for a freelance producer with my kind of skills (the ability to create amazing work/time-travel). When my site is live I'll let you all know. So stay tuned for new posts from the freelance world. I'll probably have more time to update this blog (though, honestly, hopefully not) so it should afford all of you a glimpse from an increasingly anxiety-filled mind. Enjoy.

We got it all on UHF

So I'm watching UHF, on Fox, like you do. There's a commercial break right after the scene where they air RJ Fletcher talking shit about how stupid everyone in town is, and what a great audience they make. Guess what's advertised? Enzyte (natural male enhancement, "there's never been a better time to try"), a psychic hotline (over 50,000 customers!) and American Idol. I shit you not. That's what you call targeted advertising.